5 Things That Might Just Make Me Rip Out Your Blog's Intestines (if a blog does possess any intestines)

*Highly detailed vomit-inducing awesome-looking blood-spurting image of intestines being ripped out censored for good measure*

     So you made a blog. That's great. What's that? Why I'd love to visit and follow. Dumdedumdedum. Clicked on the link already. Yay. Loading. Finally done. So let's see OHMYGOSHNOOOOOOOOO. This is torture! Must...... m-must.....click follow.........GAH!!!! Pop-ups?!?! FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU. My EARS!!! Blooooooood!!! I set up my speakers to loud!!!! god.....j-just kill me already.....i-i.....c-can't......x.x

     That is what me visiting a horribly made blog looks like if it were to be written by drama writers then sent to a director for a drama serial who then edits the script for added drama.

    It just bugs me sometimes when a person has a badly made blog. I'm touching on the design though, not the content. If it were an interesting blog, I'd overlook the problems, though 'overlook' is such a strong word. But if it's content greatly mirrors it's horrible design then that's just adding insult to injury. Now keep in mind that I'm not a highly qualified web designer and this is all a matter of opinion. So keep those angry emails locked up in your "angry emails" safe please. I'm just a human with taste. That's all. Now where was I? Oh yeah. I'm pretty patient when it comes to these type of blogs. But one day, there will be a time when I just lose it against all these blogs. For the sake of humanity.



   There are probably more things that might just make me rip out your blog's intestines but I've condensed it into 5 points. Observe:

1. Blogs with music


     So I'm checking out a couple of blogs and I open each and every one of them in a new tab. Suddenly music blasts out from my speakers. It's not just one song, all the blogs that I opened have music. Sheeesh. I check out the first blog. Where is the off button?! Aha! A youtube video played automatically for the illusion of background music. OFF! Next! Dammit, where is it? A HTML widget! Good thing those darn things come with an off button. Final one. Where? Where? WHERE!?!? I give up. The owner must've implemented a music plugin with no off button. Speakers off. Great. And after 5 minutes I get a ton of angry chat messages from friends asking why I didn't reply to their chat in Facebook. I couldn't reply because I didn't know they replied! I turned the speakers off so I couldn't hear the chat "ding" sound whenever you get a new message. Thanks alot.

     And the experience visiting a blog with music wouldn't be that bad if I actually liked the owner's choice of music. But I don't. So, speakers off.

2. Blogs with cluttered and too many widgets


     Hey, thanks for all the very "useful" widgets. But would it be so hard for you to just arrange them properly!? When people visit a blog, they expect a pleasant experience. Not content jumbled up with a bounty of widgets half of which they'll never use. Sure it looks awesome having a widget, but if you have 20 widgets on a single page, not only is it ugly but it slows down people's computers. Think of your readers. Not all of them own a high end AlienMacinWareToUltraPC. Try to limit the use of widgets.

3. Blogs with pop-ups


     When I click a link to your blog, I expect to see it right away. If it's one thing everybody hates on the web, it's pop-ups. You don't expect them. And most of the pop-ups I encounter on a blog are user made with atrocious messages like : "Follow my blog or this page will self-destruct!". Bah! And worse, the pop-ups are the ones that can't be minimised. They're the system message ones that require you to click "ok".

     I don't know if you think it's funny to have pop-ups. I once visited a blog and it had 5 pop-ups before I finally was able to read the blog's content. All the pop-ups have a message from the author telling the visitor to follow or else something bad happens, then tells the visitor it was all a joke. Great. Just great.

     I have a theory though. I think people who puts these pop-ups on their blogs have just learnt HTML and saw it as an "awesome" function. I'm 80% sure of this.

4. Blogs with horrible background & text scheme.

If you like this scheme, let me kill you.

     Can you read the above text easily without squinting or highlighting the text? ME NEITHER! SO STOP USING IT ON YOUR BLOG!

     It's all about contrast. Do you know why by default, we write with black on a white surface? Contrast! It makes the text easy to read!

Can you read me now?

     You can? GREAT! See? Even with a horrible background color like black, but with the correct text color, you can read it well.

5. Blogs with tons of errors


     Doesn't matter what kind of errors. Whether the blog has a javascript that loops over and over and crashes my system or spelling errors.

     If you have a blog, please proof read your posts before you post. I know that you're not a very good writer or speaker but now is the time to learn. Use spellcheck, it helps. Blogs are supposed to help us improve our language and share ideas(and more). If you disregard grammar and don't want to change, then what's the point of your blog? Just to pour out your thoughts? If so, who in the world would like to read a blog that has tons of spelling errors. Grammatical errors are forgivable because you might still be trying to get the hang of the language and I don't blame you.

    Technical errors are a pain too. If you use a custom design, please atleast learn HTML and CSS and edit out parts that you don't use. If the custom design comes with header tabs that you don't use, remove it. I don't want to click on a "About Me" tab and have it lead me nowhere.

    Also, test your blog from time to time. Test the usability, speed, etc. You'll want to please your readers. There's a free tool to test your blog's speed here. Pretty cool



    So there you go. 5 things that might just make me rip out your blog's intestines. If you have committed any of "crimes", do change. If you think my opinion doesn't matter to you, fine. We'll see your readers' opinion shall we?